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#IdeaSwap: 1-4-3

2 Sep

Baca topik ini, hal pertama yang terlintas jelaslah lagunya Henry Lau yang lagi beken-bekennya itu. Sejujurnya pun gue otomatis beberapa kali langsung dengerin lagu itu… and I still have no idea how to develop this topic.

Jadi, ketika jaman lagu 1-4-3 itu baru keluar, gue ga ngerti apalah itu maksudnya 1-4-3, dan sama dengan apa yang orang lain lakukan, kalo ga tau maka kembalilah pada google. So I google it, then a lot of things about 1-4-3 come up. Ternyata arti dari 1-4-3 itu sederhana sekali sodara-sodara, artinya cuma: I Love You.

Or is it that simple, the I love you?
For me, the hardest and the most meaningful I love you ever said is when that sentence follow with No matter what. I love you no matter what…
That kind of I love you yang ga menuntut balasan dan tanpa alasan.

Berapa orang di dunia yang bisa kalian hadiahkan perasaan seperti itu?
Mungkin banyak dari kalian yang bakal otomatis jawab, “Orangtua gue lah, siapa lagi?” atau “Pasangan gue dong…”, atau jawaban yang lebih luar biasa lagi, “Tuhan gue lah, ga ada lagi yang lain.”
Those are a great answers and probably the most right answers too…

Gue sebenernya ngerasa ga pantes nulis soal cinta-cintaan begini. Karena gue sendiri, percaya apa ga, takut sama yang namanya cinta. Bukan, bukan karena gue jomblo dari lahir. Pada masanya, gue juga pernah ngerasain jaman pacaran sama sekian banyak cowok yang berbeda dalam waktu yang sesingkat-singkatnya.

Sepanjang hidup gue, ada dua point yang membuat gue sama sekali berubah pandangan soal cinta.
Pertama adalah ketika orangtua gue bercerai, seeing a love that I’ve been looked up all my life crumble right in front of my eyes is broken my heart even until today.
Kedua adalah ketika gue sendiri menyadari I’ve been in love for a very long time with someone I can’t choose. This someone is my best friend, and we’re still friend until now. Agak konyol sebenernya kalau diinget-inget, we were realize we’ve been developed another feeling to each other after we’ve been a friend for years, it is supposed to be a happy ending for both of us, but we ended up chose the hard way and here comes the sad part when both of us have no courage to step further to change our pure friendship into some sort of relationship.

Tentu aja dua kejadian itu udah lama berlalu, tapi apa yang merubah gue sejak itu masih bertahan hingga sekarang. Love scares me.

Yet this is the weird thing about it, those two point that change my perspective about love forever are turned up to be a wake up call for me…
Why is my parents divorce effect me that much, because I love them no matter what.
Why after being a coward and run from the possibility to have a relationship with my own best friend makes me hesitate to love again, because back at that time I love him no matter what.

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Thrice Days In A Row

6 Aug

So….. Where should I begin?

Oh, first I’m sorry (again) for unable to keep posted for this past days. Really, wanting to write something everyday is quite a challenge. My biggest challenge is of course to manage some time in each day to write, and I can’t do it properly even until today.

Now, let me remember what I did this past few days…
On Sunday, 4th August… I’m not able to write because I went shopping with my Mom for a whole day… and when I finally home, I’m so exhausted that I just going straight to sleep and forget to blog something.
While on Monday, 5th August… Me and my Brother went to met Dad. Just FYI, I only met my Dad a several days a year after his divorce with Mom and he went to Kalimantan for work, while I’m staying at Semarang to finish my college. So I only can meet him when both of us is in Jakarta, which is rarely happen. So met up with Dad is feel sort of special and important to me. Then as usual the old routine when me, my Brother, and Dad hang out together was on… First accompany my Brother to the game-center to keep him up with his geeky-games needs. Then go to the book store where my Dad will stay at the hobbies section, my Brother will stay at the sport and games section, and I will wandering around to every section and take every books that caught my eyes (again, the do judge book based on the cover thingy) and buy it, no, technically my Dad is the one who buy it, since he’s the one who pay for it. Well, whatever. After that we going for dinner, it’s a BBQ and grill this time. Then after that we’re going to the coffee shop, order our each favorite beverages and drinking and talk until three of us get bored then go home. Yes, always the same routine anytime me and my Brother going out with Dad, but maybe if you’re in our position, that kind of silly routine is somehow so precious.

And it is bring me to today, I really have nothing to do today… So I finally make some time to write, even tough the internet crisis thingy is still disturbing me, at least I find out that the signal is slightly better when I sit at the terrace, so for now, problem solved. I still can blog even it requite a bit specific proviso.

BTW, is Lebaran day tomorrow or the day after tomorrow? Really have no idea, I think I need to watch more television… or open my twitter.

Then I think the next time I’m blog I will share my Lebaran day here, I hope it won’t turn out to be a stupid recap post like this again.
Have a good day then!

My favorite August!

1 Aug

Hi!!
Well, apparently I need to find another word to open my post here… because hello and hi are seems over-used already. But whatever, hello! hi!

Actually I still have no idea what to write today, planning to make the topics list this afternoon but I didn’t make it, I’m too busy catching up on my social life which is have been completely abandoned for this past month.
But today is kinda fun, met my friend and talked and laughed and also… I did some shopping for my make-up holiday supplies! Talking about make-up, I love them! I’m not that great on make-up thingy, especially when someone ask me to put a make-up on their face, I just can’t do it at all, I’m so bad on drawing and I think putting make-up on face is somehow require a good ability of drawing skill too, so yeah… I can’t do it very well. But I can put a make-up on my own face pretty good, even some people said it was really good, notably the eyes part. I have this so called a signature eye make-up which I wear daily, maybe I’ll blog about it somehow later.
But why I suddenly talking about make-up now? That’s now what I want to talk about tonight…

Okay, let’s get back to the topic now, which as you can read on this post’s title is…… August!
August is my favorite month of all year. Why? Well, obviously because August is my birthday month. But feeling happy about a birthday now, naaah.., I’m not. Turning 23rd soon is not as exciting as when I turned 11th and finally able to buy my first wand at Ollivander, okay stop, we’re not even on Potter’s world now.
Frankly speaking, I’m not really sure why I like August, most people usually hate this month… Because on August most schools and many institutions are just getting started, well when holiday is over, people hate it. And also, August in my country is kinda hot, I mean, the weather, August is regularly a peak of the dry season. Even so, this year’s dry season is not as bad as usually, or maybe it will getting bad later in the middle of August or something.
But I still love August anyway… Which I just realized now after writing it, I have no idea at all why I love it.
Still I hope this August will bring something good for me, for everyone. 2013 is kinda rough to me so far, so I really wish the rough trace will vanished and everything going to be simply better. Having a preferable life for my 23rd birthday present will be more than enough, I’m not complaining here but hoping for something is not a crime anyway.

So… Have a great August everyone! :)

Souls —Lang Leav

2 Jul

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This is not exactly related with my personal feeling or anything about me, but it is just turn out to be one of the most saddest paragraph I’ve ever read…
Now, why it feels like so?

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Best friend do this ♡

3 Jun

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Harder than you know

13 May

I thought it will be harder if I keep on seeing, talking, and even knowing you, but have no idea that prentend to not wanting to see, talk, and acknowledge you when you pass right in front of me are somehow twice harder. Especially when I found out that you actually trying to do the same thing towards me.
It’s not hurt that much, but it’s sucks.