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#IdeaSwap: If I Were A Boy

9 Sep

Have you ever wish to be born as someone else? If you’re boy, have you ever wonder how if you were a girl and if you’re a girl, how it’ll become if you were a boy?

If I were a boy?
I bet I’ll become a decent one. If not I’ll just become the annoying type that most girl will going to hate. Yeah, I don’t think there is any middle standard for a “boy” me.
Let me use my imaginary here, to put my girl personality into a boy one.

Mari awali semuanya dengan, Mungkin

Gue adalah cowok yang pendiam, yang ga bisa ngelucu atau sekedar bercanda-canda jorok sama kebanyakan orang. Karena menurut gue cowok yang bermulut cewek alias berisik dan macam komentator nyasar itu butuh dibasmi dari muka bumi ini.
Gue adalah cowok yang menyebalkan karena terkesan tukang pilih-pilih dan ga suka hidup susah. Prinsip gue adalah, laki-laki itu ga butuh hidup sok susah kalau bisa hidup enak hanya karena stereotype yang menyatakan kalo cowok yang ga pernah hidup susah itu artinya ga bakal bisa survive. Ah kata siapa? Itu sih tergantung lo nya aja tau diri apa ga… Taraf hidup itu bagian dari takdir, kalau memang temen lo mampu hidup lebih enak dari lo, ya jangan banyak omong, ga perlu pengumuman lah kalau lo sirik. Tapi bukan berarti gue ga bisa apa-apa. Biar begini juga gue tetap laki-laki yang suatu hari bakal menapaki masa depannya sendiri. Itu makanya gue selalu mendoktrin diri gue sendiri buat jadi cowok cerdas, cekatan, dan serba bisa. Itu modal, biar survive.
Gue adalah cowok yang susah naksir cewek dan susah ditaksir cewek. Kenapa? Gue senyum aja jarang, gimana mau ada yang naksir gue? Yang ada cewek-cewek kalau ngeliat gue macam ngeliat anjing yang di jidatnya ada tempelan, “Awas anjing galak!”. Gue juga susah naksir cewek, bukan semata-mata karena ketinggian standar, susah aja kali nemuin cewek yang kira-kira mau sama anjing galak. Ditambah, gue bukan cowok yang naksir sama cewek cantik, buat gue cewek cantik itu cuma enak dilihat, masalah hati ga ada hubungannya sama muka lo.
Gue adalah laki-laki yang setia kawan. Karena mencari teman itu bukan hal gampang buat gue, jadi ketika gue menemukan beberapa orang yang bisa gue sebut teman, I’ll treasure them no matter what.
Gue adalah cowok yang dekat dengan Mama, karena sejak kecil keburu terbiasa memandang beliau sebagai makhluk rapuh yang butuh dilindungi terus-terusan sama anak laki-laki jagoannya ini… Padahal dalam hati gue tau benar, Mama adalah wanita paling kuat yang ada di dunia.
Gue adalah laki-laki tegas yang mengerti benar apa yang gue mau dalam hidup gue. Gue calon laki-laki sukses, masa depan gue cerah dan menjanjikan. Bukan karena kepedean, bukan juga mendahului kehendak Tuhan. Itu namanya optimis.
Gue adalah cowok yang selalu berusaha ga mempermainkan dan menyakiti perasaan cewek, apa sih gunanya jadi cowok model begitu? Ga guna. Jika suatu hari gue berkeluarga, gue akan memastikan istri dan anak-anak gue menjadi orang-orang yang paling bahagia di dunia. Begitu juga dengan orangtua dan saudara-saudara gue… Gue yang akan membuat mereka bahagia.

Do I sounds perfect already?
Yes, I did… Mungkin itu sebabnya Tuhan menciptakan gue sebagai perempuan, bukan laki-laki. Karena manusia pada dasarnya ga ada yang sempurna.
Just a fun fact, gue sering dapet “pengakuan” dari temen-temen cewek gue, yang bilang kalo gue cowok pasti mereka naksir sama gue. Awalnya gue selalu mikir temen-temen gue kena semacam gangguan mental karena bisa-bisanya gue berkandidat potensial jadi laki-laki idaman mereka. Tapi setelah gue baca apa yang barusan gue tulis, they’re not entirely wrong, for a few women I might be their ideal guy.

Then again, I’m just an ordinary girl, a girl who far from perfection. If I were a boy, maybe the people who got me on their back will be the lucky ones. But even so I’m just a girl, I’ll do as much as I can to be that girl, a girl who don’t need to imagining “if I were a boy” just to feel happy, a girl who always thankful being born as a girl… and as a very blessed one too.

–Posted via mobile

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#IdeaSwap: 1-4-3

2 Sep

Baca topik ini, hal pertama yang terlintas jelaslah lagunya Henry Lau yang lagi beken-bekennya itu. Sejujurnya pun gue otomatis beberapa kali langsung dengerin lagu itu… and I still have no idea how to develop this topic.

Jadi, ketika jaman lagu 1-4-3 itu baru keluar, gue ga ngerti apalah itu maksudnya 1-4-3, dan sama dengan apa yang orang lain lakukan, kalo ga tau maka kembalilah pada google. So I google it, then a lot of things about 1-4-3 come up. Ternyata arti dari 1-4-3 itu sederhana sekali sodara-sodara, artinya cuma: I Love You.

Or is it that simple, the I love you?
For me, the hardest and the most meaningful I love you ever said is when that sentence follow with No matter what. I love you no matter what…
That kind of I love you yang ga menuntut balasan dan tanpa alasan.

Berapa orang di dunia yang bisa kalian hadiahkan perasaan seperti itu?
Mungkin banyak dari kalian yang bakal otomatis jawab, “Orangtua gue lah, siapa lagi?” atau “Pasangan gue dong…”, atau jawaban yang lebih luar biasa lagi, “Tuhan gue lah, ga ada lagi yang lain.”
Those are a great answers and probably the most right answers too…

Gue sebenernya ngerasa ga pantes nulis soal cinta-cintaan begini. Karena gue sendiri, percaya apa ga, takut sama yang namanya cinta. Bukan, bukan karena gue jomblo dari lahir. Pada masanya, gue juga pernah ngerasain jaman pacaran sama sekian banyak cowok yang berbeda dalam waktu yang sesingkat-singkatnya.

Sepanjang hidup gue, ada dua point yang membuat gue sama sekali berubah pandangan soal cinta.
Pertama adalah ketika orangtua gue bercerai, seeing a love that I’ve been looked up all my life crumble right in front of my eyes is broken my heart even until today.
Kedua adalah ketika gue sendiri menyadari I’ve been in love for a very long time with someone I can’t choose. This someone is my best friend, and we’re still friend until now. Agak konyol sebenernya kalau diinget-inget, we were realize we’ve been developed another feeling to each other after we’ve been a friend for years, it is supposed to be a happy ending for both of us, but we ended up chose the hard way and here comes the sad part when both of us have no courage to step further to change our pure friendship into some sort of relationship.

Tentu aja dua kejadian itu udah lama berlalu, tapi apa yang merubah gue sejak itu masih bertahan hingga sekarang. Love scares me.

Yet this is the weird thing about it, those two point that change my perspective about love forever are turned up to be a wake up call for me…
Why is my parents divorce effect me that much, because I love them no matter what.
Why after being a coward and run from the possibility to have a relationship with my own best friend makes me hesitate to love again, because back at that time I love him no matter what.

Thrice Days In A Row

6 Aug

So….. Where should I begin?

Oh, first I’m sorry (again) for unable to keep posted for this past days. Really, wanting to write something everyday is quite a challenge. My biggest challenge is of course to manage some time in each day to write, and I can’t do it properly even until today.

Now, let me remember what I did this past few days…
On Sunday, 4th August… I’m not able to write because I went shopping with my Mom for a whole day… and when I finally home, I’m so exhausted that I just going straight to sleep and forget to blog something.
While on Monday, 5th August… Me and my Brother went to met Dad. Just FYI, I only met my Dad a several days a year after his divorce with Mom and he went to Kalimantan for work, while I’m staying at Semarang to finish my college. So I only can meet him when both of us is in Jakarta, which is rarely happen. So met up with Dad is feel sort of special and important to me. Then as usual the old routine when me, my Brother, and Dad hang out together was on… First accompany my Brother to the game-center to keep him up with his geeky-games needs. Then go to the book store where my Dad will stay at the hobbies section, my Brother will stay at the sport and games section, and I will wandering around to every section and take every books that caught my eyes (again, the do judge book based on the cover thingy) and buy it, no, technically my Dad is the one who buy it, since he’s the one who pay for it. Well, whatever. After that we going for dinner, it’s a BBQ and grill this time. Then after that we’re going to the coffee shop, order our each favorite beverages and drinking and talk until three of us get bored then go home. Yes, always the same routine anytime me and my Brother going out with Dad, but maybe if you’re in our position, that kind of silly routine is somehow so precious.

And it is bring me to today, I really have nothing to do today… So I finally make some time to write, even tough the internet crisis thingy is still disturbing me, at least I find out that the signal is slightly better when I sit at the terrace, so for now, problem solved. I still can blog even it requite a bit specific proviso.

BTW, is Lebaran day tomorrow or the day after tomorrow? Really have no idea, I think I need to watch more television… or open my twitter.

Then I think the next time I’m blog I will share my Lebaran day here, I hope it won’t turn out to be a stupid recap post like this again.
Have a good day then!

The Packing Rush

2 Aug

I’m going to say sorry in advance because this post maybe kinda short, since I’m actually in the middle of a packing frenzy when I suddenly remember I have to write. So yeah… now me, sitting in the middle of a mountain of clothes waiting to put in to a carrier, which is mean I’m in the middle of complete chaos now.

I have this very bad habit, I’m a very last-minute person. I won’t do anything until I really have to do it, by force, because I’m almost always running out of time.
Like today, my train to Jakarta is tomorrow 11o’clock and I haven’t pack anything at all.

I don’t have any idea how to make myself more punctual and more prepare for everything.
My problem is, I like to organize things in my head, just in my head but I will end up actually never really do it. So that organize things just stuck in my head and in my to-do-list for a days, even a weeks until I completely forget about it. When I finally remember it again, most of time it’s always already kinda late and it will put in a panic mode so I just do it as fast as possible and forget every details about it and of course the results are somehow always messy and so far away from what I’ve already planned before.

I really need to be more strict to myself. Really, for me, managing other people is easier than managing my own self.

My favorite August!

1 Aug

Hi!!
Well, apparently I need to find another word to open my post here… because hello and hi are seems over-used already. But whatever, hello! hi!

Actually I still have no idea what to write today, planning to make the topics list this afternoon but I didn’t make it, I’m too busy catching up on my social life which is have been completely abandoned for this past month.
But today is kinda fun, met my friend and talked and laughed and also… I did some shopping for my make-up holiday supplies! Talking about make-up, I love them! I’m not that great on make-up thingy, especially when someone ask me to put a make-up on their face, I just can’t do it at all, I’m so bad on drawing and I think putting make-up on face is somehow require a good ability of drawing skill too, so yeah… I can’t do it very well. But I can put a make-up on my own face pretty good, even some people said it was really good, notably the eyes part. I have this so called a signature eye make-up which I wear daily, maybe I’ll blog about it somehow later.
But why I suddenly talking about make-up now? That’s now what I want to talk about tonight…

Okay, let’s get back to the topic now, which as you can read on this post’s title is…… August!
August is my favorite month of all year. Why? Well, obviously because August is my birthday month. But feeling happy about a birthday now, naaah.., I’m not. Turning 23rd soon is not as exciting as when I turned 11th and finally able to buy my first wand at Ollivander, okay stop, we’re not even on Potter’s world now.
Frankly speaking, I’m not really sure why I like August, most people usually hate this month… Because on August most schools and many institutions are just getting started, well when holiday is over, people hate it. And also, August in my country is kinda hot, I mean, the weather, August is regularly a peak of the dry season. Even so, this year’s dry season is not as bad as usually, or maybe it will getting bad later in the middle of August or something.
But I still love August anyway… Which I just realized now after writing it, I have no idea at all why I love it.
Still I hope this August will bring something good for me, for everyone. 2013 is kinda rough to me so far, so I really wish the rough trace will vanished and everything going to be simply better. Having a preferable life for my 23rd birthday present will be more than enough, I’m not complaining here but hoping for something is not a crime anyway.

So… Have a great August everyone! :)

Blog-on!

31 Jul

Helloooooo!!
Oh My God, I’m so hyper now… Feel like I’ve been not blogging for ages, totally failed finding some spree time in the middle of so many tasks to do. But finally it’s over, oh yeah-oh yeah-oh yeah!

Just finished my remedial exams today, after finished my final exams couple weeks ago which is the sum-mark isn’t come up really good so I need to take more classes so I can actually reach — with a very close call — a better mark, and escape from a total fail this semester.
Oh don’t get me wrong, it’s not because I’m stupid or what but I really lack in motivation, classic, and that classic thing almost fail me again.
So that whats makes me very busy this past month. I have no time to be on social media, even more so in blog… I barely have time to talk and hang-out with the girls and my friends, everyday was only consisted of college to home to paper to college to home to exam to the lecturers to home and so on… Really stressed me out.

And by the way, I now remember that I even didn’t said anything about fasting month. Now I finally remember after the fasting month is only a week left… and Lebaran is coming soon!
I’m going home for Lebaran of course, already booked the train ticket for this Saturday. God, how I miss home so much… Especially miss Mom and my Bro, also want to meet Dad very bad. :(

So…
I guess I’m going to see you again tomorrow in writing… Wish me a happy holiday then!

The life-size of life-size barbie

10 Jul

I don’t remember the caption of this picture, but I found it on my tumblr few weeks back, the point is there’s this person who create a barbie which it’s body size is based on the average woman size in their 20s.
What do you think? I think this real life-size barbie on the right looks more beautiful & happier… It give a more healthy body image to us who sees it, instead of give a stupid stereotype about to be a beautiful girls we actually need to be super tall & super skinny.